Momentum Magazine

Hey, look, it’s Wheels & Red on the cover of Momentum Magazine! This issue focuses on disability and desire, which is a cringeworthy yet very important subject for so many people.

Meg and I have always been very honest about our relationship and share our struggles openly. We understand as much as anyone that it’s really easy for intimacy to dwindle as married life goes on; kids, jobs, stress, and chronic illness have a tendency to push it even further to the back burner. But when Momentum approached me about doing an interview for the article they were writing, I paused and thought to myself, “Should I really put this out there?” And that pause is exactly why I decided to go through with sharing some of the most intimate details of our relationship. 

Did you know that a whopping 75% of people diagnosed with MS have some sort of sexual dysfunction? That’s too big of a topic to be ignored, or paused, or glazed over to keep people from cringing. Struggling in the bedroom is no walk in the park for a relationship; it can cause a dangerous cycle of stress, frustration and disappointment when the subject is approached without love or compassion. 

Since the magazine has been published, a lot of my ultra supportive friends and family have called me brave for putting it out there; but really, I just want to break down that stigma of sexual dysfunction and the harm it can cause. For anyone struggling with this, creativity is key. Open hearts, open minds and understanding for each other are also very important. 

Mostly, just remember: this doesn’t automatically make you unworthy, this doesn’t make you less than, this doesn’t make you undesirable. This is just another speed bump that you might need to slow down and take your time with. 

Check out the article!

Wheels and red on the cover of Momentum Magazine, PNW

Learning to fly

I’m fighting a wicked battle of blogger’s block, so forgive me for slacking off recently. Can I claim procrastination as an MS symptom?! Life has been full to the brim; full of awesome things…and a few not so awesome things. The awesomest of all, Meg left her job at mywedding.com! It’s been a long time coming, but she can now focus on her photography full time. Since then this house has been so full of laughter and creativity. Just the way we like it.

On the other end of the awesome scale, there was a septic backup *and* my first root canal on the same day. Yeah, real fun. Those weren’t so bad as when the gravity of my first Tysabri infusion finally sank in. The infusion itself wasn’t that bad, but the allergic reaction I had made for a pretty stressful experience. Mixing my allergic reaction with the risk of getting an incurable brain infection made me reconsider whether this is something I truly want to do. And for now at least, it’s not. I have decided not to continue treatment. After digging into the research, I’m not satisfied with the numbers; so I’m not accepting the risk for big pharma. This means that for the first time since my diagnosis I will be off all disease modifying therapies for MS. Not to worry though, because I live a healthier life than ever before. Plus, I have all I need: the support of my best friend.

When I step back and look at the big picture, I love where I’m at. So many things that once started out shitty ended up leading to pretty awesome things. So for now we are letting go of the norm and learning to fly. Life is good.

I love you Red

We don’t celebrate much of anything in a traditional fashion. Valentines Day is no different.   I guess we’re cool like that?

It’s the day before Valentines Day and I didn’t buy my wife a thing, no card, no chocolate and no flowers. It’s all about what you do the rest of the 364 days.

 

To My Best Friend:

I just want to say I Love You to my best friend. You have always been there for me. When things got hard you stepped up, when they got harder, you kicked its ass. No matter what MS has thrown at us you have been my rock.

I knew early on that I loved you. How early? In the first week of knowing you I looked over at you and said “You know how I know I love you?” . As embarrassing as it was, I knew it was true. We jump into everything head first together. When you know, you know.

I couldn’t wait to marry you. I had to make sure you couldn’t back out of the wedding, so, I knocked you up. Still one of the best decisions I have ever made. I always knew everything would be ok.

Thank you for helping me raise the raddest, smartest, weirdo out of the box kid we could.

How crazy is it the 8 years have gone by? I am excited for 8 more, but only 8 more after that I’m probably good.  (I also I love that you get my humor)

I can’t wait for all the adventure to come.

You are my favorite!

I Love You Red!

Wheels and Red nerdy selfie

-wheels